Broken
by shadyatem
Summary: Why don't you want get closer to me Sheldon? Shelly why are you letting Amy slip through your fingers? that woman is crazy about you and your in love with her. You look at her the same way as you did Claire, if you don't learn to let go your going to lose another one and this time it will be your fault.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone. I'm taking a tempoary hiatus on my other fic "the co-dependency factor" for a bit till I figure out some things. For now this other story came into my head. This one may be a bit easier to get out because it's not so cluttered in my little brain lol. Anyway it is a Shamy pairing fic but its more focused on Sheldon for the most part and yes there is an OC. It's about him taking another chance and letting go of his defences and see that he can "fee"l again with Amy. Rating may change later.

I do not own Big Bang Theory, if I did the Shamy would be having crazy wild coitus by this point of the series :)

Texas 13 years ago.

"_Beautiful, it's me?" He ignored his usual 3 knock habit this time as he waited on her doorstep. There was no reply but he knew she was home. He slipped his spare key into the door and slowly walked inside. The lights were dim, the small rancher was eerily quiet as he called once more. _

"_Sweetie where are you?" He walked towards her bedroom at the other end of the house. Once again he knocked, this time using the old system so she knew he wasn't an intruder. _

_Knock..knock.. knock Claire?_

_Knock... knock..knock Claire?_

_Knock...knock... knock Claire?_

_After a short moment the bedroom door creaked open and an angelic face with piercing blue eyes looked at him. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke._

_Shelly?...What are you doing here?_

"_You cancelled our date. Tonight was the night of the meteor shower, you said it was one of your great desires to see one. I had a rooftop picnic prepared and everything"._

_She wrapped her robe around her tighter and cleared her throat._

"_I know and I wanted to go but I told you I got called in to tend the farm, one of the horses unexpectedly gave birth early and I was needed. I'm real sorry."_

_He gave her a puzzling look. "Hmm.. well that's mighty interestin' to hear cause I spoke to farmer Jed a few weeks ago and he said none of his mares were being bred this spring"._

_She lowered her eyes to the floor then back at him. _

"_Claire?..."_

_Suddenly smiling at her boyfriend. "Shelly... do you won' come in for a bit"_

_He nodded and smiled back as she led him through the door to her bed. He settled himself on it while she fumbled in her on suite little bathroom. _

"_I'm...gonna make it up to you...um we can go to that new fancy symposium they recently opened in Houston. Maybe sometime this month, what do you think?" _

_Sheldon could hear the stutter and vulnerability in her voice. He knew she was hiding something._

_She heard no response and sighed staring into the mirror. "There's no use trying to hide things from him". She emerged from the bathroom and settled beside him on the bed. _

_Sheldon said nothing as she watched his gaze travel from her face to her chest and shoulders._

"_Um..."she wanted to distract him distract them both from what she knew he wanted to see. Look "Shelly... I please..._

_Tears were brimming at her eyes as he gently pulled the robe down her torso. There they were, the cuts, the new fresh cuts. Some were old ones healed, some were from last week and some were from tonight._

_Sheldon...please...I..I..._

_He softly began to place light kisses along her shoulders and neck as if a mother were kissing a child's wound. The tears were now running down her face and she cried in both relief and shame as he tended to her. _

"_I'm so sorry...I tried...I tried... She hadn't planned on him seeing them, the new ones. She needed to get away and hide herself from him, from the world, from her own life. She tried to pull away but Sheldon just held her tighter and brought her into his chest as she cried. He hated this and he hated that he couldn't stop it. He loved her so much, he thought she was perfect, why couldn't she feel the same about herself. He promised he would always be there no matter how terrible it became and Sheldon lee Cooper never breaks a promise._

"_Shelly?..." her tears stilled as she placed her delicate hands on his face and kissed him. He kissed her back with passion and she grazed her tongue against his. They became fiercer tasting each other. As they broke apart he stared into the those cerulean orbs._

"_Shelly...I wan you make love to me.."_

_Sheldon loved hearing those words but at this moment he almost wanted to cry himself. "this isn't... Claire...I can't...not right now.."_

_She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his forehead to hers. "please...I need you..I want you...please Shelly". Her tears began to fall again. He kissed her cheeks dry and moved to her lips once more. Snaking his arms around her back he pulled her onto his lap. He knew she was vulnerable, unstable but all he wanted to do was make her better, make her happy. _

_I'll do anything for you..._

"_Sheldon..." _

_Suddenly a blood curdling scream came bursting out. "Why won't it stop, please stop..."_

"NO!" Sheldon sprang upright in his bed panting heavily and sweating. _Why now, why now._ It's been so long. He felt his lap and noticed it was damp. _Oh god why is this happening_. _Why is she here._

He slowly got up and headed for the shower to cool off. As he let the spray hit the back of his neck he stared at the tile floor. _Oh god..._


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everybody, I'm such a slow updater but I had kind of lost my muse for this story for a bit, but I had a sudden urge to write a second chapter the other day so I'm going to try and finish what I started. So here's chapter 2. I'm not sure if the format I wrote this in is the best but I'm sure someone will tell me otherwise if it is. I put a bit of Texas drawl at the end but It's probably not very good. If someone knows how to write a Texas twang please let me know :). Anyway here it is.

I do not own The Big Bang Theory or anything else.

Sheldon made his way into the kitchen lost in his thoughts as he reached for his All Bran. Leonard was sitting on the couch drinking coffee.

"Sheldon isn't it oatmeal day today? And since when do you shower before breakfast?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon suddenly came back to reality at the sound of his roommate's voice. "Oh thank you Leonard I forgot"

Leonard gave him a quizzical look wondering how the eidetic memory of Sheldon could forget anything, yet alone his long time routine. Against his better judgement he decided to try and find out.

"You okay buddy?"

Sheldon took a seat in his spot oatmeal in hand, his mind still mulling over the events of last night. "I'm fine Leonard, it is nothing"

Leonard decided to drop it for now at the risk of getting into an exasperating event. Staring back at his coffee and the TV he heard the theme from Star Wars.

Sheldon's phone rang and vibrated in his pocket. The ID of the caller put a small smile on his face.

"Good morning Amy, I trust you had a good sleep?"

"Yes Sheldon I had a phenomenal sleep last night actually."

"_I'm glad you did."_ Sheldon thought.

There was a moment of silence before Amy broke it asking to re-confirm their date night tonight and that she had something special in mind.

Sheldon wondered what he was going to have to endure now. The last time she had something "special' in mind it led to an amendment to the relationships agreement to include hand-holding and light kissing as something to be done on a regular basis. He just had to grab her hand during Howard's launch. Her acceleration experiments had been affecting his focus and, much to his dismay, his feelings for her. Perhaps that is part of the reason his mind has drifted back to...that time.

"I look forward to our date night, see you at 7"

"can't wait cuddles ;)"

Sheldon smiled again at her private nickname for him as he thought back to the night he cuddled and comforted her when she was upset, but quickly scolded himself. "_I can't think of her like that"_ he thought, "_I can't go through feeling that...again..."_

Sheldon? What is up with you today? Leonard said.

Sheldon once again came back to home base and went to his bedroom to get dressed "I said I'm fine Leonard, why must you focus on the trivial things in life"

Hopefully his routine condescension would make Leonard drop his sudden interrogation.

Amy had been preparing herself all day, she was finally going to try her most risque affection experiment on her mysophobic boyfriend. She was going to try to seduce him.

She wasn't going to go at it full fishnets and high heels of course, no, she knew she had to take things slow with Sheldon. This was just an affection theory mixed with a bit of sexiness. She put on a flattering knee high dress with a low neckline that she borrowed from Penny and matched it with her low yellow heels. She put in contact lenses and a bit of eyeliner with a touch of mascara. She had to admit, she thought she looked pretty good, Penny had taught her well.

She had made reservations at a really nice Italian restaurant in town, a change up from the Cheesecake Factory, seeing as how she was hoping to make a more dramatic change up in their relationship. 7:00 rolled up and she heard the 3 famous knocks right on time.

Knock knock knock Amy?

Knock knock knock Amy?

Knock knock knock Amy?

Sheldon waited outside apartment 314. He was nervous about tonight. No matter what he tried he couldn't get that flashback dream out of his mind, he didn't want Amy to notice anything.

When she opened the door Sheldon's mouth went dry. Amy looked gorgeous, he had never seen that much of her skin before and it sent a tingling sensation down his body.

"Good evening Amy...um you look different"

Amy was beaming at the expression on Sheldon's face but it quickly disappeared upon his comment. "_Different? What does that mean?"_

Sheldon didn't know why he said "different", he should of said what he was thinking but he knew he couldn't, he wouldn't let his guard down for anyone, even Amy. He tried to brighten the mood.

"I am looking forward to our dinner, believe it or not I'm excited about the prospect of a new venue. I think it's an "embrace the chaos moment". He relaxed a little when she smiled again.

"Well per the Relationship Agreement I was sure to check all the health and food safe precautions and the reviews for it were wonderful"

They slowly made their way down to the parking lot of the building in silence. Amy could sense something was off with Sheldon but she assumed it was just him trying to process her new look in his own way. She decided to get her experiment running and walked ahead of him slightly to the car so he could get a look at her beckoning pelvis as she sauntered in her heels.

Sheldon watched her impassively pretending not to notice her now visible curves. "_Good lord this vixen will be the death of me." _

They arrived at the restaurant and took their seats in a quiet booth that was to Sheldon's specifications. The place had a very romantic feeling making Sheldon a little uncomfortable. With the menu in front of him he glanced at her. Her eyes were more vibrant without her glasses to hide them and they had a beautiful emerald green hue, so strong that a person could get lost in them. Once again he mentally used his age old kollinar skills to suppress his attraction.

Amy caught Sheldon's eyes watching her a few times. "_It's working"_ she thought.

The food arrived quite fast impressed Sheldon. He ordered the fettuccine Alfredo and Amy ordered the seafood linguine. They ordered dessert soon after. Amy had a piece of strawberry short cake and decided now was a good time to titillate Sheldon's desires a little more. She slowly took the chocolate covered strawberry and subtly licked and sucked on it as sensually as she could.

Sheldon's eyes looked up at her from his apple pie and once again he was drawn to Amy's delectable lips. Subconsciously he knew what she was trying to do with all this but on the surface he didn't want to acknowledge it so once again he acted aloof.

"I think you have licked that strawberry enough haven't you?" He deadpanned.

Amy stopped what she was doing at the tone of his voice and ate the berry. She frowned at here apparent failure. She thought she would get some reaction out of him, anything, but sadly all she got was a moment of embarrassment.

"_What is wrong with me!_ she thought. _Am I that unattractive that I can't even get my socially naive boyfriend to even look at me like a romantic partner."_ Then it occurred to her that maybe it was because he was so naive that the strawberry thing was just too subtle. Perhaps she would have to try a different tact.

After their dessert they made their way back to Amy's apartment. When they got to her door she felt this was the prefect time to try her different method.

"Would you like to come in for some yoo hoo?"

No thank you, It's getting late. I should really call Leonard to come pick me up".

I have strawberry quick too?

Sheldon considered it for a moment. There was no harm in having a beverage here for 10 minutes or so.

"Alright, for strawberry quick"

"_Excellent" _They entered and Sheldon took his designated seat on her couch while Amy poured their drinks. _"Okay Amy you can try this you're going to open your man's inner attraction to you" _But first some liquid courage to help. After pouring Sheldon his quick she poured herself a glass of wine.

"Would you like to watch something on TV for a little bit?" she thought it would be a good ice breaker and an excuse to sit together.

"Um... I should probably get going soon".

Amy took a seat next her boyfriend and passed him his drink. "Oh please stay a bit, it's only nine, your bedtime isn't until 11 now right?"

True, Sheldon has moved his bedtime an hour later recently since the hours for him and Leonard at the university had changed to later start times, but he didn't want to spend so much time in the proximity of her right now. His mind was fighting with his emotions and his body and he didn't want to stick around and find out what would be the outcome.

"Please cuddles?"

He sighed, "_just a little bit, that wouldn't be so bad" _he thought. "alright I concede, half an hour"

"Thank you" Amy beamed.

fifteen minutes into a documentary about trains, Amy put her seduction plan into action. She moved closer to her boyfriend and put her feet up on the couch.

Sheldon looked at her but before he could protest, Amy put her head on his chest and her hand on his upper thigh. Sheldon froze as her hand slowly and gently caressed his though through his pants. His body reacted immediately and he tried to tap into his kollinar once more. _"No, resist Cooper!" _he screamed at himself. It wasn't working, what she was doing was. As her hand moved up an inch his mind was brought back to the night before, then his mind went into an onslaught of past flashbacks. He began to panic, he had to stop this, he couldn't go there, never again!

"Amy what do you think you're doing!" Sheldon yelled and jumped up from the couch.

Amy stared at him with shock and hurt. He saw it in her eyes but he had to follow through, he couldn't risk everything they had.

Amy was in shock, she thought he was enjoying it? He hadn't stopped her right away so she took it a bit further, she was that repulsive she thought, he isn't attracted to her physically or emotionally, he only liked her for her mind. Tears sprung to her eyes as hurt turned into anger. _"All I did was get closer to my boyfriend! That's what couples do!, _all she wanted was his affection. How was that unreasonable.

"What was I doing? What was I doing? I was trying to seduce you Sheldon, trying to make you see me for more than my mind, trying to make you feel the way I feel about you. I like you for your mind, body and soul. I want to express my feelings for you without restrictions. I want a normal relationship."

"We have a relationship, it's perfect the way it is. Your being irrational" he told her. He had to be harsh, it was the the only way to keep her at a distance.

Amy was now crying. "Irrational! It's not irrational to want a romantic relationship Sheldon, its not irrational to want love and affection, it's fucking human nature! The relationship is only perfect for you!"

He hated seeing her cry but he couldn't let himself relent, this way for the best, for both of them. He needed to make her see that.

"Amy I think prolonged exposure to Penny has caused you to lose you logical way of thinking."

"_Shit, why did he say that, that was not the thing to say"_ he thought.

Amy screamed at him. "It has nothing to do with Penny! All she did was open me up to a world where I'm not the ugly misfit who has no friends, she has helped me realize that I am a woman with basic desires and needs! That's normal human behaviour Sheldon...Why...why won't you touch me? Am I that ugly that your repulsed? Please I don't understand why you won't love me for all that I am." She was trembling with anger and hurt now. She wanted an answer.

"This has nothing to do with your physical appearance Amy. It's irrelevant, we have a relationship of the mind a relationship with boundaries because it's safe and secure."

"What does that even mean?!" She cried

Sheldon fidgeted and stared at the ground. "It means...It means..."

"what?.."

He couldn't tell her his fearing truth. He had spent too much of his adult life suppressing his emotions and not allowing himself to fall into that again. He convinced everyone into thinking he was a highly evolved Homo Novus who had no interest in menial things like romance and baser urges. He spent years telling everyone he was above it all and if that didn't cut it, he would pretend he didn't understand human emotions. He couldn't admit his his true feelings. Letting anyone into the heart of Sheldon Lee Cooper would be disastrous. No one could know, not even Amy.

"Sheldon? Please why?..."

"I...because of the germs and passing of fluids, because it would distract me from my Nobel prize my work would suffer.. my pursuit of science cannot be shifted. I'm sorry Amy but this the way it has to be, I cannot yield. So please let's stop this fight."

Amy felt her heart breaking as he spoke. So this was it she thought, all her efforts were in vain. Sheldon didn't want to move the relationship forward. She didn't want that, she wanted more.

"I'm sorry Sheldon...but...it's not enough for me...I want more. You're lying when you say you don't need love. I think deep down inside you have the same desires as any man, but you refuse to acknowledge it. I don't want to push you against your will. I've been fighting an uphill battle for two years."

Sheldon's eyes widened as realization dawned on him. _No...she was ending it._ "what are you trying to say Amy?

"I'm saying that if you are unwilling to change or grow...that I cannot...I can't stay. My heart can't take it anymore. I motion that our relationship be..."

"No! no please...Amy don't end this. It's not that I don't want you, It's just...there are things I cannot tell you. You can't even begin to understand..."

Amy sighed, she didn't know what to do anymore.

"I motion we...take a break."

"A break?" Sheldon whispered.

"Yes..a break, I need to..think about things between us. I need to time to think". She met his sorrowful eyes with her tearing ones.

"How long is a break? "

"I don't know... I think...for now you should just go home."

"Amy I..."

"Just go...please" she needed him to leave. Sheldon couldn't stand the sight of her hurt face any longer. He turned and left.

Amy shut the door and slumped against the back of it and cried.

Sheldon arrived home and was relived that Leonard was already asleep. His mind was a wreck, he had a pain in his chest and knots in his stomach. She wanted a break, He knew what a break usually led to. It's better this way he told himself again, its safer and better for both of them. He laid down in bed trying to recall the periodic table to distract his pain and confusion. Its better this way he repeated in his head until he fell asleep.

_Children laughing..._

"_Come on an' get me Shelly..." _

"_I'm gon' get you little lady..."_

_he chased her all the way through the farm field to the lake. He tackled her to the ground and she flipped him back over on his back and pinned him._

"_Gotcha again..." _

"_that's only because I let you...". _

"_Shelly do you like me?"_

"_What do you mean, of course I like you Clairie...your smart and pretty, and I have fun playing with you"_

"_I know...But I mean do you like me like me?.." _

"_oh...well I suppose I do..."_

"_So you gon' marry me one day?"_

_He smiled and looked her into her big blue eyes for the first time and kissed her on the cheek._

"_Yes..."_

Claire...no please...oh god no... the screams came again forcing Sheldon to wake up violently again.

No...no... not now, I don't need this. I have to figure out why this is happening.

He looked at his clock, it was 6am, at least he had made it till morning before being woken up. He got up and walked to his dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out an small old box and took a photograph out of it and stared.

"_Why...why is she haunting me...again."_

So there it is, Please review, I need feedback, thanks _  
_


	3. Chapter 3

Penny was lying in bed half asleep and half awake. She had a day off today and was trying to sleep in but it wasn't working. After half an hour of tossing and turning she had had enough.

"ugh! I give up, wonder if I have any coffee"

She got and up and walked into the kitchen and checked one of her cupboards and found some fresh Starbucks coffee grounds.

"Mmmm, now that's what I'm talking about"she said as she pulled out the coffee maker. She had just set it when she heard her phone ring. She wasn't quite in the mood to talk to anyone this early so she let it go to voice-mail. 10 minutes later she was sitting on her sofa cup of coffee in hand when her phone went off again.

_What could be so important at nine in the morning?_ she thought as she let it go to voice-mail again. After a moment she felt curiosity hit her. She was just about to check the caller ID when she heard a knock on her door. It couldn't have been Sheldon, it was only 2 quick knocks.

"Who is it?"

"Penny, it's me"

"Oh Leonard?" He sounded distressed Penny thought as she opened the door.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" she said while yawning.

"Um... have you spoken to Amy this morning... or last night?" Leonard asked a bit awkwardly.

"No, I haven't heard from her since yesterday evening before she left for her date with Sheld...Oh crap!" Penny ran to her phone. Sure enough there they were, two missed calls from Amy and one text.

_I think it might be over._

What might be over? Her relationship? Oh no"

"That's what I was afraid of" Leonard said disappointingly.

"Ugh that idiot! What the hell did he do now!" Penny was very upset. Amy had brushed on her latest experiment plan with Sheldon to her last night. Deep down Penny thought it might be too much too fast for Dr. Whakadoodle but Amy seemed so excited and convinced it would work out perfectly that Penny kept her mouth shut. She was now seriously regretting it.

"I'm going to drive over to Amy's before she drowns in a sea of her tears. Leonard you talk some sense into your crazy roommate. The Shamy must be fixed"

Leonard nodded _yea it must be fixed, for their sake and for all of ours. _Leonard thought as he pictured another clouder of cats scattered around the apartment. He didn't exactly know all the details yet but he had to find out.

I better call Raj and Howard too, might take all of us to get him to talk" Leonard said to himself as he sent the texts.

Penny had texted Amy saying she was on her way over and then texted Bernadette saying emergency with Amy. Bernadette said she'd be right over as soon as her shift was done. Penny's mind was trying to imagine what had happened between them, thinking of all the possible reasons or reactions Sheldon had given to her seduction. _Why did he have to be so weird! _As much as Penny loved Sheldon, she loved Amy too and was starting to wonder if breaking up would be right for them. Sheldon wasn't moving forward and Amy couldn't wait around forever. At that same though, she considered the results Amy told her about the other experiments. They were all positive and seemed to signal a move in the right direction.

She pulled into the parking lot of Amy's building and ran up to 314 and knocked rapidly. After a short moment the door creaked open revealing the tear stained face of her bestie. Penny pushed the door open without a word and gave Amy a long hug. Amy started to tear up again and cried for a moment into Penny's chest.

"Oh Amy, what happened sweetie? Tell me everything"

Amy pulled from Penny's embrace and went to sit on her couch. Penny followed sitting beside her.

"So what happened?" She asked resting a hand on Amy's knee.

Amy blew her nose and cleared her throat to compose herself a little and took a deep breath.

"I told him we should take a break, I said I needed time to think and so did he."

Penny nodded. "why? What happened with the seduction plan?"

Amy looked away embarrassed.

"Ames?"

Amy looked back at her then at her lap. "I executed it and I think it had positive results. I'm no expert on the look of sexual attraction but I do know biology and Sheldon definately had all the signs. Also he looked at me differently every time I "turned up the heat" with an action."

"Well that sounds good, so what went wrong?"

Amy was silent for a minute.

"Amy? What..."

there was a sudden knock at the door. "Amy? Penny? Its me Bernadette."

Penny got up and went to the door while still looking at Amy.

"Hey Bernadette" Penny spoke sadly as she let their petite friend in.

"Oh Amy, what did he do now?" Bernadette asked. Her face turned to a grimace as she looked at her.

Penny quickly explained what Amy had planned with Sheldon yesterday and that it had been working but now they were on a break and that's as far as she had gotten.

"So what made it turn ugly Amy?" Bernadette asked.

Amy looked at both her friends and cleared her throat once more.

"It was stupid of me..I should of just kept with the visual action and not taken it further" Amy started then stopped.

"Amy? You don't need to be ashamed of anything, its us" Penny soothed.

"I invited him in after he walked me to my apartment and he said yes after I offered him some Strawberry Quick. I convinced him to stay for a little bit and watch this cool documentary since his bedtime was still an hour away. We were sitting on my couch when I decided to add a physical aspect to the experiment, although by that time I had thought the experiment was successful and that my next move would just be something a girlfriend wants to do to her boyfriend."

"So what did you do?" Bernadette asked

"I put my hand on his thigh and squeezed a little. He flinched but didn't pull away so I thought he was trying to get into it. I started sliding my hand further up his thigh towards his..."

Penny gasped. "And..."

"He freaked and panicked. He bolted up demanding what the hell I was doing."

"What did you say?"

"I...I... lost it. I yelled at him, I told him I was doing what normal couples do in relationships. He claimed we were better this way and that having a relationship of the mind was "safe and "secure" then it was just a battle of him versus me on it until I gave him the ultimatum. I said I wanted more than what we had and that if he wasn't willing to do that then I couldn't stay with him. Amy began to tear up as she said the words again. Both times sent a stab to her heart.

Penny felt her heart break a little too for Amy and for Sheldon. "Oh sweetie, you did what you had to, you had every right to feel upset"

"So are you over?" Bernadette asked, very concerned now after learning the whole story.

"Well...he told me no. He said he didn't want to end it."

"Oh wow!" Penny and Bernadette said surprised.

"He said what we had was safer, better. I asked him what that even meant and he wouldn't tell me but his eyes almost watered. That's the part that freaked me out, his eyes gave me a look that I'd never seen before. So I relented and said I needed a break."

"So you're not sure what to do now?"

"Well...at first I thought the only reason I softened the blow was because I wanted to make it easier for myself, but after I thought about it a bit more, I think I did it because of his words about "safe" and "secure", and the look. It was as if he was hiding something."

"Interesting..." Penny said.

"What kind of secret?" Bernadette asked

"I don't know, It looked like he was guilty about something, maybe guilty about our relationship, which confused me even more because he said he wanted to be with me still.!"Amy was exasperated, heart torn and a bit curious as to what Sheldon was hiding.

Bernadette thought it was strange of him to say too. "Well...what do you want to do now Amy?"

"I don't know. A part of me wants to just end it and either hope that it forces him to change or, I stay on the break and try to understand the real reasons why he really can't have a deep relationship with me. I've known Sheldon for over two years now and no matter how many times I've thought about it, I can't think of any reason why he didn't want to move forward with me."

The germaphobia was one reason but Amy didn't believe that was it. _There are clean sanitary ways to_ _have sex_. She sighed as her thoughts ran away with her again.

Penny, who had been quiet for awhile spoke up. "I agree Amy, I've known Sheldon for over 5 years now and I still don't get why he's so against intimacy."

"Maybe he just needs to man up and stop living the mindset of a child." Bernadette piped up.

"Hey easy Bernadette" Penny scolded.

"No! I mean come on, we can't stop making excuses for him, he takes her for granted all the time, he's not stupid, he knows damn well that almost no one can be happy in a sexless, platonic relationship. It doesn't take a genius to see that when you ask someone to be your "girlfriend" you treat them like a princess, not just like one of your poker buddies."

Bernadette felt a bit bad ragging on Sheldon but she hated seeing Amy so hurt, she knew what it was like to be with someone who needed to grow some balls once in awhile.

"I'm sorry Ames, I didn't mean to fly off the handle like that, I just hate seeing you so upset."

Amy looked at her friend with anger at first but it melted away quickly. Bernadette was just upset that she was upset. And as much as Amy didn't want to admit it, Bernadette had a point.

"I just don't know what to do, I know what's going on in his brain, but I want to know what's happening in his heart. I just wish there was someone who could shed some light on his life choices." Amy choked slightly, tears brimming again.

"Well...I know one way we could get some insight" Penny said.

Amy knew where Penny was going with that but she did not want it.

"No! bestie please, I can't tell his mother about this, it's too humiliating, plus she's deeply religious, I don't want to have to explain to her that I tried to touch your son's privates and it scared him away." Amy felt humiliated just thinking about it.

"No Ames, of course we wouldn't tell his mom about this, it's far too...personal between you too. I had a different person in mind." Penny finished.

"Who?" Amy and Bernadette said in unison.

"The one person who isn't his mother but shares enought DNA to at least offer some assistance in firguring out the enigma that is Sheldon Lee Cooper."

Penny scrolled down the contacts in her phone and stopped on one and pressed call.

"Hello?"

"Hi Missy It's Penny, Sheldon's neighbour?"

"Oh yea, Penny, how are darlin'"

"I'm ok Missy but...there is someone else in your brother's life that isn't so fine.. and she needs your help."

"Oh..um... It's Amy isn't it." Missy said suddenly very serious.

"Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

Hello, chapter 4 is here!

I do not own The Big Bang Theory.

Leonard, Howard and Raj had all gathered at 4A after Leonard's Death Con 1 alert. They had rushed over in panic until Leonard said it was about Sheldon being locked away in his room.

"Ok dude, why did you call this a Death Con 1?" Raj asked

"Yea, you called us because Sheldon is acting weird? He's always weird, and out of his mind." Howard added.

Leonard sighed at his friends and their diconcern but understood their calm state. Leonard knew Sheldon was bat crap crazy and usually he would assume his little epsiodes would pass like the others think. Unfortunately this time there was an internal and intimate factor involved.

"The Shamy is on the rocks...nearly dead." Leonard deadpanned.

Howard and Raj both looked at him in slight shock but they weren't too surprised.

"Well, of course she broke up with him, it was only a matter of time. How long would you stay in a sexless relationship." Howard said.

Raj sat back on the sofa sighing as he spoke. "Yea, I hate to admit it but I think Sheldon had this coming for a long time."

"How can you guys say that?" Leonard was baffled by their lack of empathy.

Howard gave him a sympathetic look. "Leonard being dumped sucks and we feel for Sheldon but come on...he gives Amy almost nothing."

"Yea, all she wants is a normal relationship and he won't give that to her. What did he expect when she wanted more and he didn't." Raj added sadly.

Leonard hated to agree with them but it was true. Sheldon had been taking Amy for granted for quite some time. He treated her more like one of his prized mint condition comic books or action figures. He'd keep them protected and safe but never opened them up or played with them...no pun intended.

Still, he wanted to find out what happened so maybe it could be fixed.

"Look, I see your point but he came home late last night and I tried to talk to him but he just ignored me. I finally caught his gaze and...I think he was almost crying."

Now Howard and Raj were shocked.

"No way, Sheldon Cooper crying? Robot man who spends his entire life void of feelings?" Howard said.

"I know it sounds hard to believe but swear there was something about the look in his eyes, it was as if someone had killed his memaw. He's been in his room all day today and he won't talk to me. I want to know what's going on."

The astronaut and Astro Physicist looked at one another and sighed in defeat. "Ok well, first things first we have to get him out of his room."

"Yea." Leonard took a deep breath and knocked on Sheldon's bedroom door. "Sheldon, come on buddy talk to me. Raj and Howard are here too, were not going to judge you or anything we just want to make sure you're not building a death rayin there."

"I'm fine, go away!" Sheldon yelled through the closed door.

Leonard wasn't giving up. "Look Sheldon maybe we can help you get her back or at least fix this so you can go back normal, come on you hate disruption and change, the faster it's fixed the better."

He got no response.

Raj thought about another way to get information. "Have you tried asking Amy what happened? Or Penny? I bet she's probably already spilled to her bestie.

"Oh, right." Leonard had almost forgotten that the girls were at Amy's on the same mission he and the guys were on. He pulled out his phone and dialed Penny's number only to hang it up 2 moments later.

"Well?" Howard asked?

"The line is busy, weird."

"Look maybe we should call his mother, she always knows how to fix him" Raj pleaded.

"Yea get her to talk some sense into him" Howard agreed.

Leonard thought about it, "It might be the best option right now." He was about to call when he heard a bedroom door creak open.

"Do not call my mother."

Leonard put his phone away as she looked at his best friend with shock at the seriousness of his tone. "I won't call her if you tell me what is going on with you and Amy."

Sheldon sighed. "Amy tried to seduce me, I got upset and I freaked out. She gave me an ultimatum and said we are now on a break. She was going to end it altogether but I asked her not to. Now I'm not so sure I should have."

The three other scientists stared at Sheldon. They weren't expecting him to admit what happened in such a manner. Usually he would say Amy let her baser urges out again and blame it on Penny's influence and say he was the one being rational and reasonable. To hear him just say the truth point for point was defiantly strange.

"Why did you panic Sheldon?" Leonard asked softly.

"Yea, she's your girlfriend she's supposed to turn you on" Howard stated as Raj nodded in agreement.

Sheldon couldn't even give them eye contact. He couldn't tell them why, if it was just Leonard asking he might have been able to express his feelings, but with all 3 of them hounding him for information...he couldn't tell them, he couldn't let them in. He would keep his secrets from them and...from Amy.

"I don't want to talk about this, it's none of you business anyway. Why must you all be so nosey about my relationship." Sheldon got snippy at the last line. Maybe using his usual superior tone would get his friends to drop it.

"Were concerned Sheldon! Believe it or not we like Amy, she's really good for you and we don't want to see you keep screwing it up!" Leonard was yelling a bit now. Sheldon was so stubborn.

Sheldon could feel the frustration building and didn't need anymore problems right now.

"Look everyone, I appreciate your concern for me and Amy but I honestly do not know what's going on right now and I need you back off...please."

Leonard looked into Sheldon's eyes for the second time since last night. There was an internal struggle going on in his roommate's head right now and he didn't want to let this go, but he knew he had to...at least for now.

"Alright buddy, were here if you need us."

Raj and Howard nodded in agreement but weren't satisfied.

"What is it with him? How can he not know what going on right now, its crystal clear, Amy acted like a normal girlfriend, he freaked out because he's a germaphobic psycho and her feelings and heart were crushed. He screwed up, why can't he see that?" Howard was so frustrated by Sheldon's oblivious attitude. "He hurt his girl, and instead of going to see her and talking it out, apologizing, he's hiding in his room like a child."

"Howard...I think he knows exactly what happened. He's hiding something, I don't know what it is, but...I think there may be more to him than he's letting on." Leonard admitted.

"Come on dude, a deeper Sheldon? There is no deeper, he's a crazy, condescending mysophobic nut bag. Deep down I love the guy, but he is a "weirdo" Raj said."

"No...this is different, something is wrong, I think a Pandora's box has been opened in Sheldon's head and I think it's going to be more of a problem than a clouder of felines this time."

"I'll try to call Penny again, maybe she knows what's going on now."

Back at Amy's.

"So that's the whole story"Penny told Missy through the speakerphone on her cell. Amy had asked Penny to relay what she told her to Missy because she didn't want to have to go through that painful event again.

"I see, well it seems Shelly is definitely in the wrong here but..."

"But what?" Amy asked?

"Look...Amy hun, my brother...there are things he's not telling you...I mean there's a lot you don't understand and..."

"That's why we called Missy!" Penny said a bit forcefully, "Amy doesn't understand because Sheldon doesn't express a damn thing to her!...It's not her fault that.."

"Penny please...I wasn't finished."

"Sorry, I just, I don't understand what his problem is." Penny sighed in defeat.

"Amy," Missy continued. "You mustn't blame yourself for anything. You didn't do anything wrong, Sheldon messed up, period. You've picked a hard case trying to seduce my twin brother, he's a stubborn ass."

Amy wasn't getting any answers and she wanted them. "Missy...there's something he's not telling me... isn't there?"

The room was suddenly silent.

"Missy please, I just want to understand what's happening in his mind and more so his heart. I don't know where to go from here."

"I know Amy...I.."

"There is something isn't there?" Amy pressed on.

"I..I don't know honey...there's...um...I have to go, mom just walked in and I'm assuming you don't want her to know of this since you called me first right?"

"No we don't" Bernadette said.

"Look...I have to go I'll talk to soon, I promise, but I have to go now."

"Missy wait!" The line went dead upon Penny's last plea.

"Great, well that was helpful." Bernadette said disappointed.

"Maybe there isn't anything wrong with him, maybe he's just not attracted to me and I'm trying to find something that isn't there."Amy could feel the tears start to fall again. _Why won't he love me..._

"Oh sweetie, don't even think that, look he's the one with the issues, not you. Don't worry we will get to the bottom of this and fix it."

"No, no I...it shouldn't need fixing."

Bernadette looked at her friend with great sadness "Amy..."

"Look, let's just leave it alone for now, I have a lot to think aboutand I think I'd like to be alone, thank you for comforting me guys. I'll call you later."

"Amy..are you sure your going to be alright?" Penny asked.

"I'll call you later ok." Amy repeated.

The two girls nodded and said there goodbyes and to have Amy called them whenever she was ready.

Amy was so lost, she didn't know what to do, all she knew for sure was that she was hurting like hell and there was no simple cure.

It was almost nine o clock when Sheldon finally emerged from his room to make some tea. He caught sight of Leonard in the living room and could feel his eyes on him as he went to put on the kettle.

"You ok?" Leonard asked once again. Raj and Howard had gone home and told Leonard to keep them updated on Sheldon's sanity. Leonard had gone out with Penny earlier and both of them couldn't shake the worries of the Shamy from their minds. Penny had told Leonard to give Sheldon a bit of time. It was the same thing she was doing for Amy right now. Despite the advice, Leonard couldn't stop himself from trying to get his roommate to open up.

Sheldon looked at Leonard for a moment and felt his anger rise. "I said I don't want to talk about it right now, please let this go. I know it's hard for you to focus on simple things but surely you can understand the words "I DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS THIS!" please leave me alone Leonard."

"Fine!" Leonard snapped. He was getting nowhere with him and didn't want to start a fight so again, he dropped the subject.

I'm going to sleep, goodnight. Sheldon said

Night. Leonard responded as he watched his best friend retreat within himself again.

Texas 16 years ago_._

"_I'm so excited Missy, Shelly is coming home for the summer, I've missed him so much."_

"_I know Clairie, I hate to admit it but I've missed his annoying self too" she laughed._

"_Do you think he's changed at all? Since being in college?" _

_Missy looked at her friend's worried face. "Nah, he's probably exactly the same. Shelly doesn't really like change."_

"_Yea, I agree, although I'm betting his egotistical arrogance has gotten worse" Claire laughed._

"_You don't get frustrated with that attitude of his do ya Claire?"_

"_Not really, too be honest I find it sort of.."_

"_Sort of what?...Claire?"_

"_Well...I think it's an attractive quality. Healthy confidence is a good thing and he doesn't act that way around me which makes me feel special, I know it's weird."_

"_Look Claire, I know you like my brother."_

"_What!" Claire looked at Missy in shock, "No I don't, Shelly is just my friend."_

"_Oh please honey I saw the way you two looked at each other before he left 3 years ago. You two were crushing big time back then and you still are now."_

_Claire blushed. "You really think so?"_

"_I knew it! See you like him, and yes, I think he still likes you too."_

"_Well, he's never hinted that he likes me that way. I mean I think I asked him once when we were little, but then we also talked about getting married on the beach using teddy bears and action figures as wedding guests." Claire smiled at the memory._

_Missy raised her eyebrow at that last statement. "Well, I think that childhood fantasy may be becoming a reality. If you do like Shelly Claire, your'e gonna have to be the one to light the fire under his skinny butt, because he ain't gonna tell you anything outright unless you force it outta him." _

"_I don't want to coerce him into confiding his feelings for me, If he has them she should have the guts to express them."_

"_Coerce? You and Shelly and your big words. How come you didn't apply for college like him Clairie? You got them crazy smart brains too, you could go really far in life. A lot farther than here."_

"_My dad doesn't want me to go, he says school is a waste of time. He thinks I should be working and finding ways to make money, but then again, he doesn't really care what I do most of the time, so I guess I just contradicted myself. Also, I don't know what I want to study yet either. That's the other problem, I also kind of want to finish high school, I don't think I could handle college at 15 years old."_

"_Hmm, that's a good point, don't know why Shelly chose to go then, he struggles to get along with people his own age, yet alone big college kids."_

"_Well, perhaps Sheldon is more prepared. He separated the pros and cons of his decision and decided going to school was worth it." Claire defended. _

_Secretly she had hoped Sheldon would have waited to go away to school at 12 and finish middle and high school with her. She had a fantasy of her and Sheldon graduating with high honours and going to university together and coming out with noble prizes at the end. She knew it was a bit unrealistic and it became surely impossible the year he decided to skip high school altogether. Still, despite their years being physically apart they had always managed to stay close and made it more so on holidays and special occassions when Shelly would come home for a couple weeks. They were best friends and now, for the first time he was coming home for an entire summer. _

"_Were here!" Missy exclaimed bringing Claire from her thoughts._

_The two Texan girls got out of the car and walked into the airport terminal._

_Sheldon's plane had landed 15 minutes ago and people were offloading. Claire and Missy looked through the crowd._

"_There he is!" Claire called out pointing to the exit._

_She ran to him calling his name "Shelly!"_

_Sheldon's eyes lit up as he saw his favourite person in the world running towards him. He had never thought he'd be so happy to be home._

_Claire...Claire.._. "Ah!" Sheldon woke up..again, he looked at his clock, "Whoa! Damn it's 10am, I've slept in so much. Damn you dreams, memories, why, why can't I forget again." _What is happening to_ he thought. He laid in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to get the images of Claire and Amy out of his mind. His thoughts were broken at the sound of knocking on his front door.

Leonard heard the knocking too and was the first one to the door. _Who could that be?_ He opened it and stood in shock for the third time that week.

"Hello Leonard, how are you?"

Sheldon came out into the living room and had the same look Leonard had.

"Missy! What are you doing here?"

Author notes:

Well there it is chapter 4. I'm not sure which death con's mean to which degree so if the number for it is wrong I aplogize. Anyway enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Sorry for the slow updates.


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